lmaonade:

i am a vegetable medley and god is sautéing me on medium high heat 

woodrider:

jncos:

Who was the man who first salted the slug

What was he thinking to try

Roaming the lands pouring salt on god’s creatures

Hoping for one which would die

Billy Joel – Piano Man

Holy shit it’s the post!

one-curly-spider-boi:

zadiest:

i refuse to die until things are better and that is a threat

vampiresplunderedourstyle:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

carnival-phantasm:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

scrumptiouslysuperdeer:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

HOLY SHIT IM LAUGHING MY PINK BUTT OFF

“user biggest-gaudiest-patronuses (self-described as “powerful tumblr abomination”)”

the whole article is hilarious tbh

In an unprecedented power move, tumblr user @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses gets called out as a Meme Fraud by tumblr @staff

in my defense, i had no idea. i literally didn’t bother to check

What a fucking power move

Of course it’s fucking polygon.

venuselectrificata:

retroactivebakeries:

venuselectrificata:

i am not immune to propaganda

you are immune to stab wounds

i am immune to stab wounds

revolutionarytea:

Some guy in Ancient Greece, pointing at a perfectly climbable mountain: There are gods up there!

The rest of Ancient Greece: Sick, no need to fact check that