BaconNarwhal3

nostopdasgay:

pervocracy:

Fact: no matter how sweet and gentle your alarm clock sound, within 2 weeks you will have a classically conditioned rage response to that sound.

​honestly, im like the pavlovian hulk to the gentle caress of iphone marimbas

ratguzzler:

meowsapow:

ratguzzler:

y’all say the word “shitpost” a lot and its lame

What else are we gonna say???

“jokes”

“Jokes” doesn’t have the panache.

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

so i open my inbox and 

curface:

purkinjebastard:

purkinjebastard:

Y’all I finally got my Meds refilled (fucking Walgreens) and I’m feeling super inspired. I’m gonna bedazzle a machete stay tuned

SIDE ONE DONE. I use E6000 glue so I’m gonna let it cure for a few hours, maybe overnight before I do the other side.

I THOUGHT IT WAS A HYPERBOLE

voremother:

puncromancer:

mood ring contact lenses

this reads like a shit post but honestly this slaps

sassygayclarinetist:

what

why is obama following doritos canada